A quest for money is the road traveled by many in hopes that money will afford them safety, security and a good life. Are you on that quest? How much money do you think you will need to be happy? Today I’ll give you some food for thought when setting your financial goals.
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While many experts will agree there are ways to get rich quick it is not the normal mode of thinking for most people. Most will agree they feel like they are in the rat race stuck in an endless loop. Get up, go to work, come home, relax for a couple of hours and then do it all again. The question becomes then, “How do you get out of the rat race?” and more importantly how do you get rich quick?
After studying marriage for 25-years, Dr. Terri Orbuch, research professor at the University of Michigan revealed the number one cause of divorce.. can you guess? Money! Of course it is. If you can’t pay the bills you get stressed and it occupies your thoughts and time. It’s hard to be kind, understanding or affectionate when your thoughts are a million miles away. As provider of my household I can tell you that life is much better when there is money in the bank and the bills are paid. Bills and finances take a backseat to more important things like my family.
When you marry you are committing to stick it out through thick and thin “until death do you part”. That is definitely easier said than done. It takes work to build something of worth. Most people, unfortunately, are not willing to be uncomfortable in any way and want to live life just for the “now”. But by pushing through these trials and persevering we are opening up our lives to a beauty we have yet to experience.
Money is NOT the number one cause of divorce.
Money is not the cause but it’s the affect of money mismanagement, miscommunication and not getting to the heart of the true issue at hand. If you and your spouse constantly fight about money ask yourself the question, “Why?”. Is it really about the money? Maybe you don’t have enough money to pay the bills so you fight about that. But why don’t you have enough money? Maybe the real reason is because you have too many bills. Bills that could be eliminated. Expenses like cell phones, TV cable, high housing payment, and car payments. Maybe the real problem is you are too prideful to give up some luxuries that others have and you think you deserve as well or you are embarrassed to drive a not-so-nice car.
How to Prevent a Divorce Because of Money
We all know that money is definitely a major player in marriages. So, if money issues in a marriage lead to divorce 46% of the time how do you prevent it?
1. Create a Common Goal
Most money problems stem from not having a plan or having the wrong plan. If you fail to plan you plan to fail. Well, as I said in a previous post, I don’t believe that completely. We create habits that sooner rather than later become our unwritten plan. Sit with your spouse and come up with a common goal. Maybe your goal could be to be debt-free or to buy a vacation house? Maybe it could be to have $100 a month to spend on anything your heart desires. Write down a goal that you and your spouse agree upon and keep it visible so that you can read it aloud each and every day.
2. Be Honest
Honesty is really the key factor to building momentum and reaching your goal quickly. Be honest with yourself and your spouse. If you did something contrary to your common goal then fess up and try again. Dishonesty could eventually lead to divorce even if your money management is good. Again, be honest with yourself and your spouse.
3. Communicate with your spouse
Communication is not just talking. It is also listening. God gave us two ears and one mouth, use them. This list, how to prevent a divorce because of money, is numbered but each item in the list is equally important. Silence can be golden but not if there is something you really need to talk about. Be honest with your spouse, communicate your successes and failures and stick to your common goal.
4. Revisit your Goal Monthly
One way of keeping your communication healthy and maintaining a steady focus is to revisit your common money goal each month. Make this time special with your spouse. Make it a picnic in the park, a trip to the local coffee shop or just some special time alone. Invest your time together.
1. Read your goal aloud together.
2. Share your successes and failures.
3. Reassess your goal. If it changes write it down and use it for the upcoming month.
The affects of mismanaging money can lead to divorce but if you are honest with yourself and your spouse you can prevent it. Create a common money goal, read it everyday and stick with it. Nobody is perfect so if you fail be sure to come clean and get back on course quickly. Dr. Orbuch’s 25 year study revealed not only that 46% of marriages end in divorce but that the majority (54%) of marriages succeed!
All the best to you for a long, happy, successful marriage!
For years I lived my life like most people; penny wise and pound foolish. I would pinch pennies at every opportunity. Successfully, I would save just a few dollars after spending countless hours researching my purchases. You can save yourself money (pounds not pennies!) now by not making these same mistakes.
I really hate job titles. Most of the time they are nothing more than a status symbol for shallow people. Ouch! Did I offend you? Sorry but it’s true.
President and CEO of none
Years ago I was on a project where the project manager, let’s call him Jack, was a “title” guy. He owned a small software development company and was sub-contracted by the company I worked for to run the project. He did everything but manage the project.
Jack played golf with my company’s client as often as the client would allow. So much in fact that the client asked me one day, “how’s the project coming along?” I told him what was finished and what needed to be finished yet. He ended up telling me privately, that “all Jack wanted to do was play golf.” That didn’t surprise me at all!
Long story short, the client quickly got fed up with Jack and our team not delivering a finished product. I totally agreed! It was Jack’s employee that was the hold up but he ended up blaming it all on me. The client, knowing better, apologized to me for Jack’s comments and then just let Jack have it.
My company later called Jack and told him he and his firm was fired. I was there when they called. Jack was blue in the face screaming at the phone, saying, “you can’t talk to me like that! I’m the president and CEO of the company!” Wow, did he really just say that?!
Titles mean nothing to the people who are paying you
Consumers want quality, honesty and efficiency. They don’t want you to be dishonest and waste their time and money. If you make a mistake fess up and figure out a solution. They don’t care so much about making mistakes. They just want their problem fixed as quickly and cost effectively as possible.
Don’t be president and CEO of a company that has no business. Business is about relationships. You want repeat customers and customer referrals. Be an active participant in helping others achieve their goals and they’ll take an active role in making your business successful.